These days we are just bombarded with clubs, sports, and activities for our little ones…it can feel overwhelming at times. Not only are there so many seemingly amazing options, it feels like if we don’t enroll our kids in everything offered, we might be depriving them of the opportunity to discover their talents, not to mention the possibility of falling behind their peers! What are we to do as already busy parents?
I think there are a few important keys that we sometimes forget when we start signing our kids up for multiple activities. Always keep the following in mind.
1) Activities should always be an “extra.” That means they come after peace and success is found in other areas of life. It doesn’t make sense to have Ashley learning violin if she’s failing her spelling test every week. Define the priorities of your child’s age; these might include success in school, learning good behavior and social skills, or taking care of chores and responsibilities at home.
2) The benefits of the extra-curricular should always out-weigh the cons. It seems like common sense, but we sometimes forget to weigh the whole effect of an activity. If Hunter is in soccer, it’s not just the cost of the sport, it’s also the time away from home, the time apart as a family, the investment of away games, all of it together. The positive aspects should be greater- learning to work together as a team, discipline, being physically fit, etc. Consider both sides.
3) Look at the big picture. Sometimes we forget that in just a handful of years our children will be all grown up. What are the most important skills and values that we want them to carry from childhood into adulthood? If it’s peace, you may not want to schedule something every night of the week. If it’s giving to others, you may want to plan some volunteer work you can do together as a family. If it’s creativity and independence, you might want to leave some unstructured time in your week during which your kids are left to figure out what to do themselves. Aren’t some of your sweetest memories from childhood those when you just had time to play?
4) Consider the whole family. It’s easy to get wrapped up in one child’s activities, often to the detriment of the other family members. We have three daughters, so if we had them each in one activity, plus a mid-week family church activity, plus a date night (hopefully!), suddenly we found ourselves running every single night of the week. That turns into rush-rush-rush, stress-stress-stress! In our family we chose to do the “one activity for one child at a time” rule. (This also helps avoid the entitlement that sometimes happens when one child’s activities dictate the entire family’s schedule.)Â When it’s your child’s turn, she picks one activity or club that she would like to try. My girls tried out soccer, piano, synchronized swimming, ballet, swim lessons, crafts, Irish dance, gymnastics, and Spanish club… If they really liked something, they would take it again the next time around. We have chosen not to enroll in highly competitive or intensive activities because one of our family values is simplicity. Life has been calm for us, we are great friends with our children, and eat together as a family often. The girls do not currently compete in sports in high school, but they excel in music, drama, and cooking. I’ve never regretted not putting them in more activities. They are well-rounded and happy.
5) Finally, the best advice I could ever give any parent…please give up comparing yourself to other moms, and your child to other children. Do what’s best for your family; you will never regret it!
