How do I keep my four-year-old’s room clean?

If your child is like mine, you will agree with me that it takes no more than about three minutes for a perfectly clean and organized room to become a war-zone! This is no doubt one of the great frustrations of parenting preschoolers. Of course they understand where items belong and organizing toys. And yet…they opt to take every last toy out, play and proceed to run off to another activity. The aftermath is…well, a wonderful mess that most often you get to pick up on your own with a few token gestures of help by your clever little four-year-old.

Now, if you are a super-organized Mama…you don’t have this problem. You simply don’t let the little guy go on to the next activity until he has put things away. However, we know that this is not the case for most of us. We have an office to go to, errands to run, school drop-off, lunch prep,…and so, your child’s room gets lost in the mix.

I have found something that works quite well in our house. You might want to try it. We do something called “Room Inspection”. We do it every morning. My four-year-old and six-year-old share a room. After breakfast every morning it is chore time in our house. We typically start off chore time with the room. Each girl has to make her bed, pick up her clothes and finish putting away and organizing toys. Then I inspect. If there are items remaining, I tell them specifically who is to do what. They are not allowed to leave their room until they have passed “Room Inspection”. No snacks, no PBS Kids…until that room is in tip-top order.

Of course, this is not always a happy ordeal. There is whining and complaining. “Mama, this is sooooo hard. Mama, I didn’t make this mess!” But, in the end we have a clean room…every morning. What I find is that in the evening the girls are aware of the state of their room, because they know that they will be cleaning it in the morning. This creates a sense of ownership… and lo and behold, I sometimes find them picking things up before bed so they don’t have to in the morning. Amazing!

A great benefit of a daily “Room Inspection” is that items don’t pile up. Instead of working with a week’s worth of mess, you are only dealing with one day of pile-up. It might FEEL like a week’s, but truly it is not as bad as it could be. It is maintenance. In addition, your child learns responsibility. By the time your child is four, he is perfectly capable of putting items where they belong and organizing toys. You might have to be very specific, but he is able to manage. I give my six-year-old a list of 3-4 things to do. I tell my four-year-old one job at a time. “Honey, first I want you to take all your stuffed animals and put them into the stuffed animal box.” Then. “Great job, sweetie. Now, I want you to take all the dress-up clothes and put them into the dress-up bin.” Finally. “Wow, honey…you are almost done with your room. You are a fantastic worker. Here is the last thing I want you to do. I have folded your clothes and put them in a pile over there. I want you to put them in the right drawers. Be sure to put the pants where they belong, the socks and undies in the right drawer…and the shirts with the shirts, ok? Once you are done with that…your room will be done!”

I definitely don’t recommend hovering. Assign a task and go about your work. Tell your child to let you know when the task is done. He may not leave his room until that task is done. If I notice my child is having trouble focusing on the task I have assigned, my goal is to make it “not fun” for him until he chooses to listen. So, I might say. “Honey, you are not putting away the toys like I asked. I expect you to work at it right away without doddling and getting distracted. I am going to have you sit on a stool in the bathroom/garage/patio without any toys and and any distractions (away from the family) for a few minutes until you are ready to work like I asked you to.”

Most of my kids hated sitting on a chair by themselves. So, after a few minutes of “isolation” I approach them to see if they are ready to work. Usually they are. If your child still does not tackle the task, you might have to do this several times…or find something that is even less “fun”. It might be standing up against a wall, lying in bed, lying on the floor, or not having fun snacks or tv time…etc. In the end, they will most likely make the choice to do the work.

The key is to keep tasks manageable and age-appropriate. I don’t expect my 2-year-old to fold her clothes. However, she can put a puzzle she is done playing with back into its box. I don’t expect my four-year-old to go into a torn-up room and come out with it perfect. I do know she is able to put books on the bookshelf, toys in the toybox and trash in the trashcan…if I ask her to do it one at a time and she checks in with me after every task. My six-year-old is fully capable of organizing her entire room. Now, does she like to do this? It depends on her mood. But…she is able. I don’t like having power-struggles…so I prefer to keep it fun for her. A bit of organizing each day is something she is perfectly happy to participate in, so we stick with our daily “Room Inspection”.

I hope this gives you some ideas to use with your munchkins!

Images used under creative commons license – commercial use (10/12/2015) Nathan (Flickr)